She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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