oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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