just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
