Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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