"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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