The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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