i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I think I sprained my soul last night
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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