Do vagina's smell?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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