i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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