Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
