And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
