i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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