Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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