OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
