No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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