Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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