i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
