how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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