singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
