If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
