Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm always down for nudity.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
