Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
