he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Randomize
