He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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