the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
