dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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