porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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