Even the bartender felt bad for me
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
