I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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