Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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