He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
