it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
