I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
