she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
