My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
