Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
