Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
