Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
