are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
