so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
