She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
