i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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