Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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