Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
