yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He felt like a one man threesome
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
