Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
