I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
