we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize