I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
