The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
