i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
she pinky promised me she was 18
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
