I checked into jail on foursquare
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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