my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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