oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
