Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
