Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
