I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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