also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
