I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's rum buckets o'clock
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
