I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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