so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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