he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
