Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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