the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
