we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
