Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
