Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize