he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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