So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
