If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I supernannyed him into submission
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
