saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
