This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
