So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Green mimosas i think yes
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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