sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
