And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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