I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
