why didn't you poke me back
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
