I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
