She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
